


The Stars At Sea

by alipopsie



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: A lil bit of pining, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Stargazing, Sunsets, ambiguous time setting?, and a touch of spice for flavour! :), emotional talks on boats with strange names, with a little bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23329879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alipopsie/pseuds/alipopsie
Summary: Caleb tries to stop Essek from leaving the Balleater by showing him how pretty the sky is on the ocean.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 20
Kudos: 175





	The Stars At Sea

"Shadowhand." Caleb's voice caught Essek off guard. He'd been about to leave, to teleport himself home and get off this accursed ship, where he swayed if he stood and his surroundings swayed if he floated.

He turned on his heel, his boot scraping against the wooden deck as he looked to the wizard.

"Essek," he corrected.

"Essek," his name seemed to roll off Caleb's tongue, "must you go?"

Essek looked around. Everyone was beneath deck aside from Orly, who was facing away from them, out of earshot.

"It's sunset, I should get home."

"You've been below deck all day, stay and enjoy the sea."

Essek frowned. He knew what Caleb was pulling. He'd been manipulated before, he knew very well that Caleb didn't trust him, that The Mighty Nein didn't trust him.

"I stayed below deck because being out here is physically painful. I shouldn't have stayed at all, but I needed the change of scenery."

They both knew that was a lie. The reason Essek had brought his work to the ship was nothing to do with productivity. If he needed fresh air he would have gone somewhere that didn't rock unexpectedly and cause him to almost knock his ink, somewhere he could enjoy being outside, or leave for a few seconds without dicks being scribbled in his margins.

No, he'd come here because he was lonely. He knew it, Caleb knew it, everyone knew it. He was used to lying easily and flawlessly, he was well trained in that regard, but when he tried to lie to The Mighty Nein, to Caleb, he was helpless. Hand in the cookie jar no matter how far he was from the kitchen. He wished he could lie to them, but there was a part of him that was glad beyond belief that he had such a weakness.

“Come,” Caleb said, walking to the side of the boat and leaning on the railing.

Essek followed, it was like Caleb had him on a leash as he moved towards the bright orange sun, which seemed to frame him perfectly from behind. Essek was almost caught in the moment as the transmuter looked back to him.

“ _ Come _ ,” he repeated, more insistent this time, and though the sun hurt to look at, it was almost gone now, and he rested his own elbows on the railing, watching the waves make their strange patterns as they stood for a while in silence.

“Essek.” Caleb spoke finally, interrupting the gentle crash of the waves against the ship. ”Why did you come here?”

“Here? You asked me to, just a moment ago.” 

Caleb shot him an incredulous look, and Essek smiled to himself. 

“To the Balleater.”

Essek sighed. “You know why.”

“I need to hear you say it.”

He felt himself tense, curl into himself, and his eyes closed, though he didn’t mean for them to. Caleb was asking for vulnerability, and he’d never been good at that. He’d never been good at sharing his feelings. He kept everything to himself, it had stayed that way for over a century. But there was something about Caleb, something that made it so easy to open up, to tell him anything. Caleb knew things about him that no one else did. He knew of his treachery, sure, but he also  _ understood _ Essek, they understood each other in a way he'd never experienced before. 

It wasn’t anything that had to be spoken, though maybe he had let it slip the night he’d confessed his crimes to them. 

Caleb obviously felt it too, he’d made that much clear. He’d called the difference between them thinner than a razor, and part of that comment had scared Essek. The words had been bouncing around in his head for days, making him wonder what Caleb had done that made him feel so strongly that he was a moral match for someone who’d traded away two of the most important artifacts in his culture.

He glanced at Caleb, who was staring at him, waiting for an answer. The answer he already knew, but needed to hear, and Essek understood what he meant.

“I wanted to be around you all. My tower gets lonely, and you all are my only friends.” he looked intently at the slowly darkening water, trying to avoid Caleb’s eyes and only seeing the same colour wherever he looked. “Yasha was right, I’ve found I’m most lonely when I’m away from you all, even when I’m surrounded by the dens, by my family.”

He looked to Caleb again, who was watching him intently.

“Maybe we can be your family.”

Essek smiled softly. “Maybe.”

“Have you ever seen the sunset, Essek?”

“I have. Not many times, but it’s hard to go a hundred and twenty years without seeing a few. This one was perhaps the prettiest I’ve seen though.” he looked towards where the last tiny sliver of the sun was still visible, vanishing beyond the horizon, and his mind flashed back to Caleb a few minutes earlier, looking over his shoulder, illuminated by the amber sunlight.  _ ‘Definitely the prettiest.’ _ he thought, before pushing the thought deep down, as if Caleb might read his mind.

Caleb didn’t seem to notice the blush spreading across his cheeks.

“The ocean can be like that. There’s a strange beauty you can’t find anywhere else. Look, here,” Caleb turned again, walking away from the edge and sitting, cross legged. Essek followed suit, sitting next to him and, when he fell back roughly onto the wooden deck, Essek lowered himself carefully to lie next to him.

It’s a terribly vulnerable position, laying here exposed, his armour still below deck with his work. He doesn’t feel unsafe, though he usually would. He honestly feels strangely comfortable, even on the rough wood planks.

“Look,” Caleb said, pointing up, to where the first few stars of the night are beginning to make themselves visible.

“I’ve seen stars before, Caleb.” 

“I said that too, but Fjord was right about this. It’s different on the ocean, especially on such a clear night. You can see so much more than Rexxentrum or Rosohna, or even Blumenthal.”

They stayed lying there for a while, watching more stars become visible, and Essek began to see what Caleb meant. Not only was there the familiar bright scattering of stars, but there came a mix of a subtle, tiny dusting of stars far beyond them, as if someone had wiped silver dust on a black surface. Caleb was right, it was nothing like Essek had seen before.

Essek turned his head to look at Caleb, who didn’t seem to notice, too enchanted by the sky above them. His lips were parted slightly in awe, and his eyes sparkled, not only reflecting the night above them, but full of such fascinated, childlike wonder that Essek could almost imagine young Caleb, free of whatever had troubled him so terribly, gazing at the same night sky with just as much joy.

“Do you ever wonder if there’s more life out there?” Caleb whispered, and Essek was pulled from his thoughts, collecting himself as quickly as he could manage.

“Oh, I’m sure there is. Exandria can’t be the only place capable of developing life. There may even be other planets that have had life long before ours, perhaps some that have had and lost life before life on Exandria even existed.”

Caleb smiled, “It’s nice to think we’re not alone in the universe.”

Essek thought about Caleb beside him, and the rest of The Mighty Nein below deck, undoubtedly messing with his studies. These strange people who may very well have been the aliens who found Essek on his lonely little planet. “It is.”

Caleb turned his head, making eye contact with Essek, and grinned.

“It’s not stargazing if you’re not looking at the stars, Shadowhand.”

Essek blushed, smiling sheepishly despite himself, but didn’t back down. “You never said we were stargazing.”

Caleb shifted slightly, leaning towards Essek so their faces were inches apart.

“I figured it was implied.”

Essek tried his best to keep his composure, becoming very aware of Caleb’s breath barely reaching his skin, “Maybe I prefer this.”

“Well if you so prefer me to the sky...”

Essek was barely able to register what happened as Caleb rolled, pushing himself up so he was propped on his hands and knees over Essek, who leaned up in an attempt to close the gap between them, but Caleb pushed himself up, just out of reach.

“You’re a tease, Widogast.” 

Caleb leaned down a little, reducing the space between them to just a few inches again, “Maybe I am.”

Essek smiled, tracing a familiar pattern in the air, and Caleb was pulled towards him, their lips finally meeting. He felt Caleb make a startled noise, and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him close, and Caleb let himself be pulled, their lips parting, heads tilted as they fit just so perfectly together.

They stayed like that for a while, fangs brushing lips and stubble grazing smooth skin, before Caleb pulled away, breathing heavily.

“That was… Something.”

Essek raised an eyebrow teasingly, “Better than stargazing?”

Caleb smiled, letting himself drop onto Essek, head resting on his chest, “Maybe.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Maybe it had all been part of Caleb’s plan to make him stay, trapping him here like this, and maybe he’d regret it in the morning, when the sun rose again to burn his skin, but right then, with Caleb resting on him, starting to fall asleep on his chest, he found he didn’t really mind, as he used another simple spell to wrap his mantle around the human as well, and let himself fall into a trance. 

No. A sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> hey thanks for reading! I'm alipopsie a lot of other places too if you wanna talk or see my art (mostly insta) or random, mostly cr thoughts (mostly tumblr)  
> I'm also in essek discord, where I sent lil bits of this while I was writing. hi guys ily  
> (kudos and comments are always appreciated and loved no matter how far in the future you're reading!)


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